The Emo Boy Who Lived RePosted
by xXTheEmoPunkKngXx
Summary: Harry The Emo Boy Who Lived. Post OoTP. Sirius is dead and Harry is depressed. he then inflicts self-harm. and after gong a little to far who is there to lighten his sprits. Miss Auror Tonks reporting for duty! warning:Selfharm,language,failedsuscide
1. Chapter 1

"Dumbledore my answer is no. I will not go back there." Harry said firmly

"Harry you have been depressed and cooped up in this place for too long. Don't disagree harry those marks on our arms say otherwise." Said the headmaster of Hogwarts. They were both in Harry's room back in Privet Drive. It was a week after Hogwarts let out for the summer holidays.

The headmaster had been trying to move harry from privet drive back to grimmauld place. He had seen the marks on Harrys arm about a week or so until the young boys fifth year was done. He hadn't jumped on him at first, the young man had just lost his godfather he has a reason. But it turns out harry has being doing more cut on his body.

"Yeah but they wouldn't have been there if you had let my Goddamn Godfather out of his hellhole every once in a while!" yelled harry in pure rage.

The headmaster winced. It was true it was his fault that Sirius was dead. He had him cooped up in grimmauld place with no signs that he could be with harry. Dumbledore had truly regretted his decisions. It had let this poor youth into more pain and misery than ever before. He had only sought to make it up to the poor lad.

"Harry would Sirius want you to be doing this to yourself. Being depressed and inflicting self-harm. Harry Sirius would be furious if he had found out."

"SHUT UP! DON'T YOU GO TALKING ABOUT MY GODFATHER HES DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU! AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO GO BACK TO THE PLACE WHERE HE WAS SUFFERING MOR THAN ME. SCREW OU OLD MAN!" harry yelled. Each word filled with hate and rage. He turned to face his desk.

The headmaster knew he would have to use his plan B incase Mr. Potter didn't want to go willingly. He had just hoped that harry would forgive him for doing this. He pulled out his wand and got up from his seat on Harrys bed..

"Harry there will be people looking over you at grimmauld to make sure you do not continue doing harm to yourself. The weaslys are already there. As well as miss Tonks." Dumbledore had given this information to harry so that the next time the young lad woke he would have been informed ahead of time.

"Why would they know I do that? I made sure nobody knew I did that." Harry said his voice full of worry and anger.

"Well I took the liberty of telling them before I came here." It was at these words that Dumbledore had readied his wand at the depressed teenager.

Harry turned, utterly shocked at Dumbledore's words. His mind was racing. He would get a lot of sympathy that he didn't deserve. Then would come the yelling about how stupid his actions were. Then would come the shock of realizing that this boy had possibly tried to kill himself. Then tears would come and then harry would feel responsible for this and that's when he knew his depression would get worst.

As the teenager just stood there in the shock of his secret coming out. He didn't realize that the headmaster had his wand pointing at him.

"I am terribly sorry for doing this harry. Please forgive me." Dumbledore said with a look of guilt on his face.

Harry then realized what would happen. He would be dragged to grimmauld… but not of his own accord.

"Hold on wait a min-"harry had no time to finish his sentence for he had already been stunned by his headmaster in a jet of red light.

"This had better be a better year for young Harry." Sighed Dumbledore looking at his pupil as he collapsed on the floor.

In a matter of minute he had Harry's belongings ready and apperated to grimmauld. Only leaving a note for Harry's aunt and uncle.

**AN: ****Well what do you think? After Hours and Hours of not having an idea for a story this one appears when I'm on the 360 playing Arkham Asylum. I know getting an idea while playing a game. It's totally embarrassing. But now I have this story in my head I will never cease to stop until I finish this story. Anyway PLEASE REVIEW so I could get help on this story. And I am free to Suggestions. Before I sign off and get on writing the second chapter I need a really Emo way of getting so I have a few suggestions on a poll so please vote.**

**Mischief Managed**


	2. Whispers and dead family reunions

When harry next woke he had realized that Dumbledore had already dragged his arse to grimmauld.

"Dammed professor. I should be careful around him for now on." Grunted harry. His arms were stiff and sore. His legs felt wobbly and weak. The marks that indicated self-harm on harrys arm looked raw.

"Bloody hell. Must have been one helluva stunner." He commented.

I need to hide these. Harry thought. He found his trunk in the corner of the room he was in. he realized it was the same room he and Ron had shared. Thinking about it had almost brought tears to his eyes. About a year ago Sirius was here. He thought sadly.

He opened his trunk and put on some new cloths. A black long sleeve shirt that covered his cuts. Dark jeans that fit him nicely and some classic Chuck Taylor converse. Once dressed he made his way to the basement kitchen. On his way down he realized that the other occupants that were also staying with Harry in this hell hole were missing. But that thought disappeared when he had stopped outside the kitchen door.

"I can't believe that Harry would do such things to himself. I feel sorry for the poor boy" came the voice of Mrs. Weasly.

"Yes but you must realize Harry had just lost Sirius. He needed a way to relive all this pain. Trust me I know I went through it when I was younger." Came the voice of the only living true Marauder Remus Lupin.

There was a pause. This caused harry to just stand there and listen.

"What? You never told us that Lupin!" came the voice that belonged to the bookworm Hermione.

"Remus if you had told us that sooner we would have been able to help Harry!" came a growl from Ron

"It wouldn't have worked. If Harry is anything like James he wouldn't have listened. Anyway our pains are different. Mine was from growing up being a werewolf, and outcast, I got death threats daily at Hogwarts. Harrys is from losing the only other family member he ever had." Said Lupin sadly.

"That's not true. He's got you Remus." Came an innocent voice from Tonks.

Lupin had laughed at the comment from Tonks.

"Tonks I was never close to James as Sirius was. Any way I'm a danger to myself and to others around me."

"But that doesn't mean you cant tell him about his parents." Came Tonks.

"Or tell him every marauder adventure you had with James and Sirius." Said Ron.

"Or tell him that he was loved from his parents." Said Ginny who was quiet up until now.

This is when harry thought he should make his appearance.

"Or you all could just leave me the BLOODY HELL ALONE! AND STOP TRYING TO GET LUPIN TO REPLACE SIRIUS IT WILL NEVER WORK! HE'S GONE! ALL BECAUSE OF ME. SO PLEASE LET ME DIE. "Harry yelled.

It caused everyone to snap their head in shock for what Harry said. Remus was the only one with a slight grin. The rest had either shocked or Guilty faces. Tonks looked close to tears.

"How long have you been list-"said Hermione before Harry snapped again.

"EVERY THING I HEARD EVERY GODDAMN WORD. JUST STOP IT I DON'T NEED COMFORT. UNLESS YOU CAN HELP ME KILL MY SELF THAN LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" And with that already out and before they could say anything Harry ran to his room and slammed the door hard enough for everyone in the household to hear.

He looked around the room for something sharp. He found a piece of glass. He continued to cut himself until there was a knock at the door.

"Harry please open up I'm worried!" it was Tonks he had never heard her so scared before.

Harry who was dizzy after so many cuts had tried to walk to the door. He felt very lightheaded. He checked his arms where he had cut. He was bleeding below the wrist on both arms. It was all better now he was going to see Sirius. He opened the door. He could feel the blood in his mouth. He spit it out on Tonks accidently.

"Goodbye Tonks I'm off to see Sirius." He said with a grin.

He collapsed and Tonks caught him. She looked at him he face was sprayed with his blood.

She closed her eyes as she let her tears run free.

The only thing she could yell was.

"HARRY!"

**AN:**** Wow this was a slight longer than what I had originally thought of. Oh and by the way the poll on my homepage is for another FF I had in my head. I'll set to it imeadietly after I finish. So please vote. And please review.**

**Mischief Managed**


	3. The truth in the Reunion

Everything was disappearing slowly. Tonks who as crying on Harrys dying form. The hellhole grimmauld. He had heard voices. They sounded like distant whispers calling out his name. it wasn't long until everything he saw was pitch black Darkness. But he was still in the land of the living. He still heard the whispers and felt hands on him. He felt the sorrow, guilt, and tears of the people around him. Then he heard in a loud Hysterical scream.

"HARRY. WAKE UP DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME!

The scream sounded from someone who was already in tears. There voice echoed in Harrys head for what seemed like forever. And when Harry thought he was truly dead he saw a bright light. It grew brighter and brighter that his sub conscience self had to cover his eyes. Once the light dim down a bit he uncovered his eyes to see Sirius there along with a man that looked oddly familiar.

"You. Your dead." said Harry almost happily. His gaze directly at Sirius and the other man.

"Yes we are dead, but you are not, don't be getting happy. I am getting furious at your actions. You nearly killed yourself. Your just lucky James calmed me down just before we came here."

It took a minute to realize who the other man was after what Sirius had just said. Right there wherever it his was his father.

"Dad" croaked Harry. He was starting to feel truly ashamed of what had just happened. He had tried to kill himself.

"Son." Replied James. He looked like he too was going to cry. But before any of the two could say anything they both ran to each other and gave a huge hug.

This was a moment that harry would never forget. For hells sake he was hugging his father. Finally after 15 years. He never wanted to let go. But sadly his father broke the hug.

"This doesn't mean you're off the hook young man. Your are still in trouble because of what you did." Said James.

"Damn right you are!" shouted Sirius from where he was standing. Almost laughing.

"Padfoot!" snapped James

"Sorry, but just imagine Harrys face if lily was here." He said almost to tears because of the laughing. "The boy would be wishing he was alive just to get out of here." Now he was on the floor. Not a care in the world laughing his arse off at a silly thought.

Even now James had a small grin.

"You see that harry that's what happens when you are a messed up mad man that just escaped prison" said James with a small chuckle.

Even Harry chuckled at this.

Suddenly the laughing stopped and an offended looking Sirius finally stood. A scowl on his face.

"This is coming from the one that saved Snivellous from the whomping willow. I say you should have let the tree have at that with that old prat."

"Yes and if we had Padfoot we would have all been expelled. How many times do I have to tell you?" Sighed James.

Harry cleared his throat. He decided that if they were going to yell at him he wanted it to be done.

They both looked at him and stopped at their argument.

"Right. Thank you Harry. We are here to say we are disappointed at what you have done. Your mother had a fit thinking her only child was dying." Said James

"Yeah, and you scared my little Nymphadora halve to death." Said Sirius.

"Yeah I say that I left a lasting impression on her." Chuckled harry.

Both Sirius and Harry's father sighed and shacked their heads at this.

"And you say you taught him about women." Came from James

"Yeah well you said he was your son. He must be if he still hadn't noticed. I mean lily had realized it about three years before you two started dating." Came Sirius.

"Quiet you old prat!" sighed James

"Git" came Sirius

"Feeling mutual." James sighed again

"Should we just tell the boy?" asked Sirius

"We should if it will take him longer to realize what we're talking about." Sighed James for about the millionth time

"Tell me what?" asked Harry nervously.

"It seems that my niece-"

"-Has feelings for you. Harry, Tonks is mad about you."

The news hits Harry like a gunshot to the head. But then he realized this must be true. Back at the kitchen when he yelled at the people in the room Tonks was close to tears. And When she came looking for him she sounded deathly afraid.

Then he realized someone else in the living world did truly love him. And her name was Nymphadora Tonks

**AN:**** Wow he is loved! Just kidding I knew all along. The next chapter might not come out for another week or so because I am now completely out of ideas. Anyways thanks for following this story after the little computer glitch. And thank to those people who liked my story so much that they clicked the box in the left hand corner. Thanks you won't be disappointed. If you have any ideas or just want to review just hit the review button. Thanks.**

**Mischief Managed**


	4. Emotional love

The news was good for Harry. What was he thinking it was bloody great. Tonks was mad about him. He had thought on how everyone would take the news. Hermione, Lupin, and Ron would be happy for him. Mrs. Weasly would definitely disapprove and try to get them apart. And then there was Ginny. Mrs. Weasly had craftily planned for Ginny to be with Harry. To be honest Ginny was too busy acting like a Scarlett woman to focus on Harry. And when she did, she only saw Harry for his fame and wealth. She wouldn't even care to get to know him. And then a scary thing popped into to his head.

What if tonks too only loved him for his fame?

"Harry you okay?" came his father.

"It's…. It's just that what if…. What if Tonks only loves me for my fame and fortune like Ginny?"

It was James's turn to think. It was only cut short by a scoff from Sirius.

"Harry you have got nothing to worry about. She has loved you for a while now. Remember that night that she and the rest of the Order had came to pick you up"

"Yes."

"That night she saw she told me that you yourself had been looking "Hot" for a boy hat had just turned fifteen"

Harry chuckled "Yeah, I heard that scrawny and depressed is the new "sexy"."

"Okay I'll ignore your comment just to continue. She had admitted that you looked good. Then when you came back for winter break when Arthur was attacked by nigini, you had been depressed and Anti-social. She had been crushed to see you like this. It was here that she knew that her crush might be something more than any regular crush. She had told me herself that she might be in love with you. Then came the business with the Department of Mysteries. She had this plan that after school was out that she convinces her love to you. But that was disrupted when the order had heard word that you in the department of mysteries. Tonks was the first one that wanted to rush to your aid. I was even shocked. After I died, I lingered in a ghost form but was invisible to all. I followed you until you flooed back to Hogwarts. And might I add you did well fending old moldy wart out of you."

"Yes I am also proud. You did better than I ever could imagine." Came James.

"Thanks." He turned to Sirius. "Continue"

"I then followed Tonks into . When she awoke she knew that she had failed in protecting me. Then she had this thought that for not protecting me from my dear bitch cousin that you would never love her. She cried for hours on end. I so wanted to tell her it would be okay, but she would not hear me nor see me. Then when she got out she came back to grimmauld on leave to get over grieving. It was a couple days that the only thing she would do was cry and stay sad. Then came Dumbledore. He had flooed over saying that you." He had pointed at Harry "Were inflicting self-harm. Tonks heart nearly broke. She went hysteric. She had a look of anxiety in her eyes. Dumbledore had managed to calm her down. He had told her that he had told both the Weaslys and Moony this and that they were on their way because Dumbledore was bringing Harry back to grimmauld. But it was then my time was up and I went back up there" Sirius had said pointing up from wherever they were. "But from what I had heard you really sent her into a deep anxiety and depression mood."

Harry felt… well he couldn't describe what he felt. Guilt, sadness, need, he couldn't describe any of it. It was all built up and so raw he didn't know what to feel. He looked from wherever he was and then back to his father and godfather.

"I need to go. I need to hear those words from her"

"We understand. But the next time we find you here we are bringing your mother you understand." Said James

"Yes." Replied Harry with a quick nod.

"Now goodbye and go to her now." Said Sirius.

The next thing Harry knew he was awake in a hospital room. It was empty. He had his wrist connected to an IV. His cuts were almost fully healed they were now just raw lines in his skin.

He sat up. Slowly and carefully Harry got dressed. But came another obstacle. How was he to get his shirt on with an IV stuck in his arm?

Then very slowly he had taken it out. It was painful as hell, but to hear Tonks say those words it was all going to be worth it. He had on his jacket when a door opened and in came Hermione. She gave a tiny scream. Then Harry covered her mouth with his hand. He put a hand to his lips and shushed her.

"Where's Tonks? Grimmauld? Just nod to answer."

Hermione nodded.

"Okay forgive me for this but I'm going to tie you up and bind your mouth shut"

Hermione's face was with pure shock.

"Hey, I want to be the one that tells Tonks I'm awake."

Harry put the body bind curse on her and gagged her with her scarf and silently crept out of the hospital.

When he was completely out he headed for the nearest underground stop and rode the train home. When he arrived at grimmauld he found it to be almost dead silent. Harry checked his watch. It was three in the afternoon. It wouldn't be long before they find Hermione and tell everyone. He climbed the stairs to Tonks room. He put his ear to the door. It was the most horrible sound for him to hear. Tonks crying.

"He's left me I know it. He left because I didn't protect Sirius." Then came a hiccup. "I'm useless. Nobody will ever love me. All I ever do is disappoint." Another sob. "I'll die alone, I will never be loved" then came the heartbreaking crying. He couldn't take it. It will be done.

He opened the door silently and peaked in. Tonks was sitting on her bed holding her knees and crying. He silently walked over to the bed and stood in front of her.

"You have got it all wrong. You're not going to die alone. You're not useless. And as sure as hell you are loved." Said Harry

Tonks head shot up her tears suddenly changed from tears of sorrow to tears of joy. She clung onto harry. Never wanting to let go. Then Harry broke the embrace to hold her chin and just kiss her. She was a tears for finally having him. He was at tears for finally being loved. It was all going to be well for the both of them.

**AN:**** Finally. It took ages for me but they kiss. I've been trying to make it look all angst and romantic so it's been a challenge. My original idea was for harry to walk in on Tonks about to hang herself but that made me sound so suicidal for writing this. But still it worked in the end. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Mischief Managed**


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